1-2. school daze
3. the maud couple
4. fake it 'til you make it
5. grannies gone wild
6. surf and/or turf
7. horse play
8. the parent map
9. non-compete clause
10. the break up breakdown
11. molt down
12. marks for effort
13.
the mean 614. a matter of principals
15. the hearth's warming club
16. friendship university
17. the end in friend
18. yakity-sax
19. on the road to friendship
20. the washouts (episode)
21. a rockhoof and a hard place
The trio spent some time hanging out in Mr. Kingstonâs basement game room; a sprawling âman caveâ with everything from billiards to pinball and nearly full-sized bar. Alex waived off offers of a drink, and neither Darius nor Selene decided to imbibe either if their friend wanted to stay sober. It was as if they knew Alex was nervous about something and didnât want to put him out.
âYou mean the time we broke into an old video store and rummaged through the ruins?â Alex asked.
âAh, yes, one of several youthful indiscretions,â Darius said with a smile.
âNothing wrong with a little urban exploration,â Selene argued.
âIs that what they call âbreaking and enteringâ nowadays?â Darius asked. âI like it. That sounds much more legit. Anyway, yes, we âurban exploredâ a shuttered rental place.â
âMustâve been about ninth grade?â Alex put in. âAnyway, we had to sneak out during weekend break. It would be stupid to do it at night because anybody walking by would see the flashlights shining through the broken plywood on the windows and stuff.â
âYep, a daring daytime raid to one of the long forgotten pastâs most important cultural landmarks,â Darius said, continuing to ham it up.
âDude, it has only been out of business for five years. Anyway, it was a mess. Clearly some people had used it as a shelter off and on for a while,â Alex explained. âExcept for a couple of VCR cleaner cassettes, it looked like the entire stock had either been liquidated or picked clean before we got there. Even the wiring was pulled out of the walls.â
âThen my man Lexi here,â Darius said, clapping the unicorn girl on the shoulder, âGot the idea to search for a hidden back room. Said these places used to rent porn on the down-low before you could get it on the download.â
âYeah, but when we looked in there all the shelves were empty too,â Alex explained. âBut there was this piece of carpet just laying in the middle of the room near the back wall. Just a roughly cut square, but it didnât look like itâd been moved since the place was closed.â
âVery suspicious indeed,â Darius added. âClearly it wasnât something that fell from the sky. So we walked over and used our pry bar to gently peek under one of the edges. Fortunately, we were not greeted by a flood of scorpions angry to have their nest disturbed. And wouldnât you know it, we saw the metal frame of a floor panel.â
âAfter we kicked the old carpet patch out of the way, it was clearly some kind of hidden compartment,â Alex continued. âThere was a small lock on it, but it was just one of those dinky little tiny things. Nothing a few whacks with a pry bar couldnât open.â
âAnd when we reverently opened that tomb-like, venerated burial cask, a golden light began to spill out accompanied by the harmony of-â
âWe found a bunch of porn,â Alex interrupted his friendâs purple oratory. âA lot of it imported from Japan.â
âOh my god, you guys found a stash of hentai?â Selene gasped, wildly into this narrative all of a sudden.
âWe found a buuuuunch of hentai,â Darius confirmed with a broad smile lighting up his face. âAll the classics were there, and a lot of stuff that was not-so-classic.â
âWhat about the weird stuff?â Selene said with a knowing expression.
âI said âall the classics,â didnât I babe?â Darius replied.
âLike interdimensional demons using nubile young ninja girls as part of their plot to take over the mortal realm?â Selene asked as she took Dariusâs hands and wove their fingers together. âOr the illicit activities of the occult club at the all-girl high school?â she interrogated as she pulled closer and laid her head on Dariusâs chest.
âAll that and more, babe,â he said as he leaned in and gave her some playful kisses.
âMmmm, and how did you two spend your tomb-raided wealth?â she said, glancing over at Alex. âI imagine it was hard to find any privacy in an all-boysâ boarding school.â
âWe didnât,â Darius said. âNo privacy at all. So we went to the head of the A-V club and organized group watches by invite only. If you were cool, yâknow, not going to tell the dean? You were in.â
âFinding time to, uh, react to the videos afterwards was left as an exercise for the viewer,â Alex explained. âThey thought there was some kind of stomach bug going around with how many of us were suddenly occupying the bathrooms.â
âOh, Iâm sure the head of the all-boysâ school had no earthly idea what could have caused such a sudden increase in stall occupancy,â Selene giggled.
âYeah, well, they had to pretend like they didnât, yâknow?â Darius said, rocking Selene back and forth in his arms.
âMustâve been really tough on you, Lexi,â Selene said.
âNah, not really,â Darius countered. âWe all treated Lexi like just one of the guys, yâknow? Even if she was starting to grow out a bit.â Alex suddenly felt uncomfortable at how thin and implausible this version of history sounded, worrying that the merest contact with a harder question would shatter the illusion and everyone would suddenly realize it made no sense for her to be at an all-boysâ school in the first place, that she was actually a dude the whole time, and now he was walking around luring his best bro into a threesome and his last remaining friends would hate him forever. He quickly recalled a different, less sexually charged story to entertain Selene with.
âSo⊠am I sleeping in another room, or-â Alex was tackled from behind, lost his balance, and landed in the plush blankets of Seleneâs queen-size canopy bed. It was warm under the covers. Soft, too. There was that insistent scent, again. Alex felt it encouraging him to return the favors Selene was busy plying him with. It would be rude not toâŠ
Then his ears picked up voices. From the bedroom. Sneaking up to the closed bathroom door, he strained to make out what was going on. Darius and Selene were talking. Try as he might, he couldnât pick up any arguments; no hard tones, no crying, no pleading, no accusations. Was that a chuckle just now? Followed by a kiss, he could tell. Then a door closed gently, and someone sat on the bed. Quiet. Alex hesitated a number of minutes, then decided to try an play it off. He turned to flush the toilet ⊠before realizing he really had to use it. Yeesh, he hated sitting to pee. It felt dirty somehow, plus he had to move his tail to one side, and he could feel his padded rear-end overhanging the seat on each side.
âIs he⊠suspicious?â Alex asked cautiously.
âOf what? Oh-â Selene suddenly understood. âGirl, you KNOW we had permission right? You understand that, donât you?â
âIâŠâ Alex was stunned. âSo he⊠knows?â
âWe talked it out before inviting you over, ya goof! Do you think I would go behind my boyfriendâs back like that? Especially in his own house?â She motioned for Alex to come sit down on the bed, and he did so, feeling light-headed. âDarius and I have it all worked out, okay? We both love the ladies, but we also both love each other. As long as we both know and approve of the otherâs side items, everythingâs cool. Bonus if they feel like joining in with the two of us together! About the only thing thatâs off-limits for me is to hook up with another dude, which, hey, not really gonna happen. Darius is honestly the only guy Iâve ever really connected with, yâknow? Me and him, weâre it. I thought he told you about that?â
âI, uh, I guess he didnât get into the details,â Alex said, trying to remember their first reunion.
âWell honestly, honey, what did you think would happen on Thursday? You think Iâm gonna let Darius have all the fun?â
âIâve been trying NOT to think about that,â Alex admitted.
âWhy? Youâre not-â Selene stopped, and got out of the covers to kneel down and look Alex right in the eye. âLexi, youâre not obligated to do anything! You know that, right? Nobody here wants you to do something you donât want to do, okay? If you feel any pressure at all, just say ânoâ and nothing happens. You donât owe him a sexual favor, okay? You just donât. We all thought this would just be some fun, but if you donât want it then thatâs no fun, honey.â She took Alexâs slender hands. âOkay? You can always say no.â
âI donât NOT want to do it,â Alex found himself saying. That surprised him; why was he so okay with the thought of going down on his bro? âI just⊠I dunno.â
âFirst time giving a guy head?â Selene guessed.
âUh⊠is it that obvious?â Alex chuckled nervously. âAnd whatâs more⊠heâs my best bro! You know? Iâm not sure why it doesnât feel wrong. It doesnât scare me, itâs ⊠how okay I am with it that kinda scares me? Like, I never thought of myself as⊠as aâŠâ
Cocksucker, he internally admitted at last. He was talking about sucking his best friendâs dick. And the fact that the cocksucking part didnât bother him was the part that bothered him. He recalled all the practice âLexiâ had done with those adult candies. The taste of piña colada filling her mouth and her enjoying the satisfaction of a job well-done without any hint of shame. Suddenly he felt a warm hand on his face, and looked up to see Selene smiling at him.
âLexi, youâre not a bad girl for enjoying some sexy fun-times. Youâre NEVER a bad girl for enjoying what you like. Donât let anyone tell you different. And you know what?â she asked, wiping a fresh tear from Alexâs cheek while her own eyes started to glisten in the dim light. âI like who you are. Youâre super cool. I wanted, and still want, you to have happiness in your life. You deserve it. Do you believe me?â
âOf course,â Alex lied. âAnd I guess Darius deserves-â
âDarius deserves to have a friend he can trust,â Selene interrupted. âSo be honest with yourself, sweetheart. If you really donât want to go through with this, if you change your mind, whatever. Just let us know any time. What makes you happy is what will make him happy, not doing things youâll regret. He would hate himself if he thought he pressured you into something youâre not comfortable with.â
âOkay.â
Morning was slow, so Alex kept turning over what happened last night and this morning. Darius stopped by solo for lunch to check in on Alex again and just assure himself his bro was in good shape. They hung out, talked about the past, talked about the future, but didnât talk about Thursday. Lunch ended too soon and they went their separate ways once again. After lunch, quiet preceded the after school rush.
One of the boys started chasing the other kids around with a weird pair of toy goggles. Lexi had to physically catch him to stop him from running, and his heart nearly stopped when he saw what was written the goggles: Genuine X-Ray Spectacles. He ripped them off the troublemakerâs head and confiscated them, having a small panic attack about what the boy might have seen while running around and looking at him. When customers filed out at closing time, Alex took the goggles and peered through them at her hand.
Bones. Actual bones, not the overlapping image illusion most âx-rayâ glasses made. He looked down and saw the ghostly outline of his overly-fleshy anatomy, and behind that the silhouette of ribs and pelvis leading down to his dainty little feet, each toe bone separate and distinct. On the one hand, that seemed like a cancer hot-spot in the making. On the other hand, at least that kid wasnât treated to a show he was too young to see, or something worse. He tucked the goggles behind the counter and closed down for the day.
Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
A tone filled her ears, but even more powerfully resonated along the length of her horn. It drilled down into her brain and set up shop, inviting all its friends and relatives over for a grand opening that crowded out Lexiâs existing thoughts. The reverberations wavered, until another firm diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing rang out and conducted itself through her horn again.
âWelcome, lassie,â croaked a familiar voice, ferried to her attention despite the otherwise all-encompassing tone. Lexi turned and saw Creepy Boss standing behind her at the register counter, holding something up. It was something small, and vibrating. Lexi squinted; looked like a tuning fork of some kind. Creepy Boss struck it on the counter again, pulling every nerve in Lexiâs body into sympathetic vibrations with it.
âSirrrrâŠ.?â she managed to slur out. Her head felt fuzzy, like its edges were shaking back and forth with the tone.
âYeâr doinâ a fine job now, lassie, tendinâ this store. Yeâr even startinâ ta feel tha pull, now. But yeâr not quite synchronized.â diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing âNot in tune witâ yer potenchul, girlie.â
âNnnnnnnnnot inâŠ. tuuuuuuuuuuuune?â Lexi asked.
âAye, lass. Thereâs still some dis-har-mony in that liâl pointy skull oâ yers.â diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing âHow can yaâ âspect ta be a star if yeâr busy fightinâ witâ yerself?â