1-2. school daze
3. the maud couple
4. fake it 'til you make it
5. grannies gone wild
6. surf and/or turf
7. horse play
8. the parent map
9. non-compete clause
10. the break up breakdown
11. molt down
12. marks for effort
13.
the mean 614. a matter of principals
15. the hearth's warming club
16. friendship university
17. the end in friend
18. yakity-sax
19. on the road to friendship
20. the washouts (episode)
21. a rockhoof and a hard place
Spoilered: Vulgar.
Darius let his blade arm rest, reaching for a towel to wipe the perspiration off his face. This was far more tiring than his old foil. The blade had a mass of nearly a kilo, moving it quickly was taxing. But even more taxing was the silence. âI think I should check on Alex,â he said. The staffer whoâd been managing his phone while they were on their trip handed it over dutifully. But when he brought up his messages, the group chat was gone. Puzzled, he went to his Contacts. There was no âLexiâ in the Lâs. âWhat the fuck is this?â he said, drawing Jayâs attention. He showed the erstwhile trainer what wasnât there to be shown.
âItâs a warp,â Jay explained. âSimonsonâs layering things into the weft again.â
âI thought that didnât reach to the mansion,â Darius said, growing upset. âI thought you said the cuff links would keep it from affecting us!â
âItâs complicated,â Jay sighed. âYes, youâre protected here in the mansion, your fatherâs petroglyphs ensure it. And yes, the cuff links will protect you when youâre outside. But electronics? Theyâre too ephemeral. Their stored charges are too flimsy to stand up to the nudges of warping. They never resist the influence. Check your contacts again, for your friendâs old name.â
Darius looked in the Aâs. Sure enough, there was one for âAlex A.â near the top: annotated Best Bro. It had a picture of Alexâs goateed, glasses-wearing face, just like Darius remembered it when his fog was lifted last week. It was like âLexiâ never existed. Or at least like heâd never met âher.â
âWhat⊠the hellâŠâ Darius said, puzzled at the discrepancy between what he knew and what the world wanted him to think.
âYou get used to it after a while. By the way, do NOT reach out to Alex under any circumstances. I know you want to-â
âI have to!â Darius shouted. âWeâre doing all this for him! Why canât I talk to my friend? I need to know heâs alright, I need to know what-â
âYou cannot do anything for him yet,â Jay insisted. âIf you tip Simonson off to us, itâs all over. Alex, the toy shop, maybe even the whole mall; like that,â he said, snapping his fingers. âVanished, pulled beyond our reach. We may never find them again.â
âYou said he already knew about us,â Darius said.
âHe knows heâs being watched by Firmament, he sensed one of their other agents. But he apparently doesnât know about us. You, your father, your girlfriend, what weâre doing here. He canât see into this place. He thinks itâs just another routine Firmament sting operation. He might be right; they donât keep us in the know. Simomsonâs got his facilities locked down, thereâs only be one movement in the last few days that we could see, but if he thought Dev was on his case it wouldnât even be that. Heâd just be gone.â
âHeâs that scared of Pops?â Darius asked, struggling to take in more of the picture.
âHeâs scared of what your father knows, what he can do given half a chance, and what he might suspect about Simonsonâs projects. He knows Dev could shut it down if he brought all his attention to bear on it, with just one opening. And thatâs why we know he doesnât suspect. Heâd have already bugged out.â
âJay, who is my Dad?â Darius asked, looking at the iridium sword where it sat on the bench. âAnd who are you guys? I mean, Firmament, but also you. How do you know my Dad? What did you do before I was around?â
Jay took a deep breath. He clearly wanted to talk. âThat isnât⊠my story to tell. Not all of it. I can say your father brought⊠significant contributions to Firmament.â
âHe told me our family used to do horrible things,â Darius said, looking aside. âHe said they used to be involved with⊠Foundation, or whatever. He didnât tell me all of it.â
âHe wants you to live your life as free from the taint of Foundation as you possible can, and for good reasons. Dev made a lot of enemies when he ⊠turned away from the family business. Ever since you came into the picture, 110% of his energies have been devoted to raising you so well that youâd never even be tempted to the things Foundation does. Not just for your sake, either. Youâre his clean break,â Jay said, drawing Dariusâs eyes once more. âYes, the fact that you exist and are who you are is his strongest rejection of Foundation, and he clings to that- he clings to you and the good person youâre growing into, like a man with cement shoes clinging to the planks of a pier, feeling the waves lap at his back.â
There was quiet in the room for a long moment.
âSo itâs like that, is it?â Darius asked quietly.
âThatâs why heâs been an absolute wreck ever since the plan,â the man with the greying goatee said. âHeâs sending you into the lionâs den and if he thought there was any other way heâd choose it. But your fatherâs mind is one of the keenest on our side, and he can see the way things unfold more clearly than most of us. So,â Jay said after breathing in again. âPlease donât blow it by giving into that cell phone addiction you kids have these days.â
Darius cut short a surprised laugh. Okay, he thought. I guess I can hold out a little longer. âMy arm is killing me, though,â he said out loud. âI think Iâm done swashbuckling for today.â
âYeah, letâs not blow out that shoulder,â Jay agreed. âI guess class is dismissed. And weâll let you know as soon as we have something we can work with. I promise you that, kiddo.â He held out his hand, and Darius reluctantly surrendered his phone.
âGood news and bad news,â Darius said. âFirst the bad news: we still canât contact Al- uh, Lexi,â he said, using Seleneâs preferred name. Sheâd never known Alex like he did. âAlso, we may have to keep sitting tight for a while longer until thereâs an opening to move on.â
âWhatâs the good news?â Selene asked, loading more rounds into the cylinder. The waiting in silence was the hardest part as far as she was concerned; this enforced âradio silenceâ was eating away at her like acid reflux. Shooting, at least, gave her something else to fixate on. And maybe she was even getting better at it.
âThey say Simonson doesnât suspect weâre even up to anything, or else heâd have already disappeared, I guess. Just up and taken his whole shop with him like a hermit crab scurrying with its shell into the tide, or something.â
âHm,â she acknowledged before lining the gun up with the down-range dummy and disengaging the safety. It took ten seconds for her to deliberately send all her bullets down the gallery; three of them connected. âSo I guess I shouldnât even bother asking for my phone back,â she said with a resigned sigh.
Darius was then surrounding her from behind, comforting her not by dismissing the validity of her fears, but instead comforting her with the knowledge that they both shared them, and how much they were in this together.
Surely the sacrifice of his first, hand-made drone was a small price to pay for such promise. He valued it above any fodder, but now that he knew there could be others in greater numbers, it was less crucial to preserve it. A few lizardsâ tails could be dropped as needed, after all.
Speaking of which, his first priority was now to grow something special. He was eager to see if his designs panned out, an eagerness he allowed to flourish despite the incredibly depth of patience that time had imbued him with.
âLet me guess,â Lexi ventured. âPaul, right?â
The stranger that looked like Alex seemed disappointed. âLooks like they got the recipient wrong,â he said as if to himself. Disregarding Lexi for a moment, he picked up a tablet and scrolled. âLetâs see⊠setup procedures⊠ah! Here we go.â Now he looked back to Lexi. âEnter setup mode.â
âPlease enter username and password,â Lexi said. Huh, that seemed odd. What prompted her to-
âUsername admin, password password1,â the buff Alex-looking stranger stated.
âAccepted. Welcome to Setup Mode. Please add a user. You may assign root privileges, or add the user to the superuser group,â Lexi recited out of nowhere.
âHashtag useradd flag m flag g root alex alverson enter,â he said, consulting the tablet.
âPlease enter a root password,â Lexi replied, feeling like some stranger was using her voice and she couldnât stop it. âIt is recommended to use a different password than the factory default.â Factory default? She tried to move⊠but couldnât. She tried to say something else⊠but couldnât. She was just sort of stuck waiting for this âsetupâ exchange to finish.
âCorrect horse battery staple,â pseudo-Alex said with practiced ease. Of course, Lexi mentally sighed. She hated being reminded of her password reuse bad habit every time she was confronted with some form of her male alter ego.
âPassword accepted. Root user added. Would you like to customize your synthoid? You can exit Setup at any time.â Oh shit, that canât be good.
âYeah, letâs do that,â the Alex-alike Adonis said.
âWould you like to choose a name for your synthoid? You may pick one profile name with up to five aliases. At least one name must be suitable for use in public spaces around children. Default name: Lexi the Magical Unicorn. No aliases set.â She wanted to scream, to cry out, to panic. But nothing responded. Even her emotional response was clamped down tight to passive indifference. Only on the intellectual level was Lexi allowed to know that this wasnât right at all, and that she should be fighting it with everything she had. Trouble was, apparently she had nothing.
âFancy! In keeping with the pony princess theme, I think Iâll call you⊠Princess Sugartits. Sugartits for short.â
âAcknowledged. Unit is now identified as Princess Sugartits,â Princess Sugartits said. âFirst alias Sugartits. Please choose at least one public alias and up to three additional aliases of your choice,â Princess Sugartits continued. Fuck, this was so wrong.
âAlright. Honeysnatch, Bitch. Uh⊠Babe. And I guess if I gotta go with a safe one, just use that factory default.â
âAcknowledged,â Princess Sugartits announced, still unable to do anything other than blurt out the script and these humiliating, juvenile Mad Libs names. âPrimary name: Princess Sugartits. Aliases: Sugartits, Honeysnatch, Bitch, Babe, and Lexi the Magical Unicorn. Factory default name will be used in public when suitable. How should Princess Sugartits refer to user alex alverson?â Oh god, please no. Sugartits could already see this one coming.
âMaster will do,â beefy-Alex said. Dammit, she hated being right. She wanted to strangle him just for being so predictable.
âAknowledged, Master,â Sugartits droned. âPlease select a role for your synthoid. You may select one or more of the following: Domestic service, Sexual service, Companionship service, Counseling service, Friendship service, Personal Trainer service, Professional service, Financial service, Culinary service, Child Rearing service, Select All.â Sugartits liked the sound of none of those, especially if they were supposed to âserveâ this thing calling itself by her old name and wearing her old face and walking around like it owned her apartment.
âThat last one. Select All.â Not-Alex was preoccupied reading through something on the tablet and smiling eagerly.
âConfirmed. Please enter up to ten traits to inform your synthoidâs personality type.â Oh shit, here we go, Sugartits thought. But she wasnât even allowed to experience the fear she knew she should be feeling; everything was on hold other than her bare intellectual processes.
âSubmissive. Obedient. Servile. Slutty. Horny. Skillful. Loyal. Nurturing. Quiet. Happy.â
Of course her being âhappyâ came last, Sugartits thought. All those others revolved around him and what he wanted; a sexy servant, a housekeeper, cook, fucktoy, always sexually available, ready to play emotional support for him but apparently one who wouldnât try to ânagâ him by starting a lot of conversations. It was such a dark mirror of the way she used to think of women, back when she was the guy known as â____.â Maybe she should be glad he tossed in something about her emotional state at all rather than leave her as a blank, zombie-like robot; a thinking brain in an emotionally numbed body forever.
âPlease wait while the appropriate packages are installed. You may also update the base operating system. There are⊠zero base operating system updates to install. Confirm, yes or no,â Sugartits said, bringing the Setup wizard closer to its inevitable conclusion. Well, this was it. Independent existence had been good while it lasted.
âYes, confirm,â Impostor!Alex nodded.
Sugartitsâ head instantly exploded into a fire hose of pre-programmed knowledge, skills, personality quirks, and drives. It felt like something inside her head was unpacking in all directions at blistering speed, stopping just short of forcing her brain out through her nose and ears. She could feel some of her switching off, there but unavailable, and others switching on; coming to the forefront. It was like re-learning half a lifetimeâs worth of information at the same time her emotional world was circumscribed tightly into a much smaller circle.
âRestart to apply changes? Yes or No,â her voice said of its own accord.
âYes.â
blip
Sugartits blinked. Oh hey, she was able to move again. She relaxed her stance and looked around the apartment. It needed some tidying up. Huh, that must be the new programming, she thought. She looked at Master, who was watching her expectantly. She still felt like he wasnât supposed to be here, so there was that at least. What a creep, she thought to herself. Even if he does have the body I always wanted, heâs still a total jerk. I kinda hate seeing my old face on him. But still⊠she wasnât⊠unhappy?
âWell donât just stand around, Babe. Introduce yourself,â Master said.
âOh, sorry!â Sugartits apologized. Now she felt guilty for keeping him waiting. âIâm Princess Sugartits! You can call me Sugartits for short, but I also go by Honeysnatch, Bitch, Babe, and Lexi the Magicaly Unicorn in mixed company,â she said. Ugh, why did she say all that like he didnât know?
âGreat, Babe. Who am I?â he asked, pointing a large, strong-looking hand to himself.
âYour name is Master,â Sugartits said matter-of-factly.
âAwesome. Okay Bitch, tell me a little about yourself,â he instructed.
âWell,â Sugartits said, suddenly very eager to summarize herself for him. âI like to follow orders, cook, clean, keep house, take care of people, do chores, and all that. But Iâm also pretty horny, and love to fuck!â Having gone through the obligatory, Sugartits decided it wouldnât be too out of line to go a little further. âYou know, I used to be called ____ too. This is my apartment, but I guess youâre welcome to stay if you need a place to crash.â Okay, that last part about offering to let him stay must be due to the new personality programming. She knew that, intellectually, but couldnât help feeling genuine about it. This guy, whoever he was, still needed a place to live after all. And she wouldnât mind looking after him. Helped that he was super hot⊠okay, stop thinking now.
âUh, no. My name is Alex. This is my apartment. You just got here today,â he insisted, his annoyed face causing Sugartits to feel some dismay. Why was it wrong to tell him the truth? âOh wait, I know!â Master said with a look of realization. âYouâre glitching on the training data! Yeah, thatâs it! When they scanned all that data to prime you with my preferences, somehow you got the idea that you were me! Well, I think I can work around that,â he said, rubbing his familiar goatee thoughtfully. âSugartits, search your training data for any self-referential use of the term âAlexâ or âAlex Alverson.â Then blank out the name.â
Something happened in Sugartitsâ head, a sudden wall of text the size of her entire life. Every few words or sometimes sentences, something was highlighted. Then deleted, left blank. This process was so demanding she almost blacked out, but once it ended her brain ramped back down to ânormalâ. Had she really just erased every memory of herself as ____? She remembered being a guy, growing up, going to school with Darius, being captured at the mall and turned into some mutant unicorn retail slave. All the memories were still there. But when she tried to think about writing her name on a test, say, all that came up was ____. When she thought of introducing herself her first day of school at St. Denisâs, she heard ____. The name was just⊠gone.
âOkay,â Master said after a momentâs pause. âTell me, have you ever called yourself Alex?â
âI⊠donât think so?â Sugartits said.
âWho is Alex?â he asked.
âWell, Master is AlexâŠâ Sugartits replied.
âYes. Iâm Alex. Your master is Alex. Remember that. And this is Alexâs apartment, Alexâs Gamestation, Alexâs sofa, thatâs Alexâs car outside-â Wait, this guy has a car? No fair! She never had a card when she was ____ â-all of it is Alexâs,â Master said. âYou donât own any of this stuff, I do. You just keep it clean and look after it, okay?â
âOkay, Master,â Sugartits said, absorbing the instruction. âShould I start now, or-â
âNope,â Master interrupted. âFirst thingâs first. Strip down to your heels and letâs test that face-hole of yours,â he said. As Sugartits set her purse down and started taking off her clothes (leaving the shoes, of course), Master sat on the couch that was no longer hers and unzipped his cargo shorts. She barely had time to think about how easily sheâd just given up her entire apartment to this Alex-looking Alex before she turned to walk to the couch and noticed how huge the bulge in his underwear was. A thick trouser snake began straining against the knit boxers that lay over his firm, well-muscled thigh. Huge. At least 9 inches long and very thick. Thatâs not fair either! Sugartits mentally protested as she knelt down between his knees. Itâs bad enough heâs tall, buff, and drives a car. But now heâs fucking hung, too? These reactions shared space with a parallel set of reactions; excitement, desire, happiness that she was being given a task to do, hoping she did a good job, wanting him to be happy with her, wanting him to feel loved and cared-for, and especially being glad that Master was turning out to be even sexier than she suspected. It made her envy seem irrational and out-of-place. She turned her head slightly to avoid pointing her horn at his stomach and peeled his shorts down his legs, letting the monster cock spring free right in front of her. Oh yes, Iâm going to enjoy this! she thought, bending closer to kiss the smooth, purple tip.
Again? she thought. Of course sheâd do it, and his cock was already starting to slowly pulse back up to full staff, but didnât he know about âcool-downâ periods? He wasnât going to be able to cum for another twenty minutes, at least. Back when she was ____, the best she could do between nuts was almost half an hour. Still, she had her orders. Lowering her head to his throbbing tip again, she kissed it⊠and was shocked when her lips felt like they were touching a battery! The sensation, it was like⊠it was like when sheâd touch herself. Specifically, it felt the same as when she teased her lower lips. Letting more of the massive dick slip into her mouth, she grazed it with the tip of her tongue and shuddered, gasping in surprise. That felt exactly like playing with her clit! And past that, her tongue was telling her the feel of his cock passing over it was identical to the feeling she got in the first few inches of her pussy during penetration! Oh, now it wasnât just her tongue; the roof of her mouth, the sides of her cheeks, they were all hyper-sensitized erogenous zones now. And when she deep-throated him for the second time this evening, it felt the same as when sheâd been penetrated all the way back. Her head was swimming in this brand-new experience, and she was moaning and grunting like a performative whore while polishing his knob. Except it was genuine!
And then, to her surprise, just as her body began to prep for her own unexpected climax, Masterâs shaft once again started twitching and pulsing and then pumping in her mouth. Another flood of coconut-and-pineapple man-juice unleashed in her mouth in waves.
It hadnât even been five minutes, she realized a little later after coming down from her own surprise orgasm. A guy with zero waiting period? Another thing to chalk up to the âheâs a better ____ than I wasâ column, though right now she wasnât sure he had the better end of the deal even for that.
âMuch better,â Master said while Lexi, still feeling a little shaky, finished the job of cleaning him off with her sensitized tongue. âI love a bitch that can get off to giving head.â Despite herself, Sugartits smiled with satisfaction. It was really gratifying to know Master appreciated her efforts. If he wanted her to be a screamer while sucking his cock, well, she couldnât help but feel like there were worse things. As long as he was happy.
âYou wonât need to wear a lot around here,â Master said. âStill⊠I guess if youâre going to do the shopping and the bread-winning, youâll need to be decent in public. Buy some cheap shirts or something online, Babe,â he said. Then he left her to her own devices while he sat down on the couch and picked up his long-paused game of Call of Warfare, paying her no more mind.
Sugartits sighed and started looking up clothes on her phone, thinking maternity wear would be a good bet just like nursing bras were once the only option to fit her, oh so many sizes ago. When she saw the first results come in, she had an idea. Finding the cheapest mumus with overnight shipping options, she placed an order. Then she went into her (Masterâs?) bedroom. Seleneâs portable sewing station was still there, along with a now woefully undersized custom dress form. But no matter, the atlerations she had in mind were simple. The âdomestic serviceâ skill package included basic knowledge of fabric arts.
Being left to herself, Sugartitsâ mind wandered to Darius and Selene. She had to reach out to them somehow and let them know about her new situation. Closing the browser on her phone, she pulled up her messages⊠and discovered they were gone. No conversations. In a panic, she went to her Contacts. There was only one number: Simonson Inc. Product Support Hotline. No Mom, no Darius, no Selene, not even the accumulated phone numbers of friends sheâd long drifted away from. She knew that if she were not programmed to feel happy, sheâd be very sad at this.
Howâd she feel about that? It was great, obviously; she loved being supportive of him, she loved it when he took control of her sexuality, she loved the way he enjoyed her body and her services, and she especially loved all the fucking they could do. Even if she still knew heâd walked in and taken over her life, itâs not like she wasnât having fun. How could she not? Everything he did were things she liked, and everything he asked her to do were things she liked doing. She hadnât felt this emotionally fulfilled in a long, long time. If she didnât know better, sheâd swear they were made for each other. But really, she was made for him. Whatever the implications of that may be, she couldnât help but smile and feel warmth creep into her cheeks as she strutted her oversexualized body out of the apartment to go grocery shopping. Heâd given her the keys to his car (a gift from Dad, yet another thing she wished sheâd had as ____), but despite now knowing how to drive sheâd have to adjust the seat to fit her tits behind the wheel. And itâs a good thing her body seemed to be slowly adjusting to her new mass; her breasts felt springier and more supported than yesterday, and the stretch marks had already healed.
She wondered about her job at the toy shop. She wondered about her parents. She wondered about her friends. But Masterâs wants and needs, as well as her cleaning and cooking duties, kept her pretty busy since their first meeting in what was now his apartment. Maybe sheâd find some time to resolve those questions after dinner. Or tomorrow morning. If she wasnât too busy servicing Master, of course.